cravings

alam ko masama, pero ganun talaga kapag bawal: masarap.

huhuhu.

gusto ko ng bagnet/crispy pata/lechon kawali!

thoughts

I’m surprised to find out I have a few high school batchmates who graduated from college from top universities but opted to take nursing as a second degree. Why not just get a master’s degree for the original course and get a job related to your field abroad, if you really wanna earn a lot? Nursing gets all the attention, but there are other jobs out there, you know. It’s too saturated now.

~o~o~o~

Loyalties are built and strengthened over years. They do not change over one sitting.

~o~o~o~

“It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.” – galing sa Twitter, with a few corrections

~o~o~o~

Marriage isn’t a one-time promise. It’s a lifetime of affirmation – proving you deserve the other person, everyday. Taking her for granted is the surest way to let her slip away.

~o~o~o~

Love isn’t just words. It’s actions. Love isn’t just sex. It’s warmth and affection.

~o~o~o~

If a person leaves you, it’s never sudden. You just missed the signs.

PWNED?!

Had two separate online arguments with grown men tonight – one a priest, the other a lawyer – on homosexuality as a perversion and the motivations behind a navy sex scandal (read story here). In both cases, I justifiably won as their arguments fizzled.

Where’s the quiet, no-confrontations-please Scout?

I’m getting feisty. I like it.

Corregidor

My first trip to the island of Corregidor last weekend. It was a surprisingly quiet, beautiful place, and I’m glad I decided to go at the last minute despite a ton of work left undone. Bad Scout, but happy Scout.

Sharing some of the pics of a hospital’s ruins, bombed by the Japanese during World War II. I think I may be able to use these as reference for a post-apocalyptic story I’ve been cooking. Hmmm…

The lump in all its glory

Got the email from my doctor. Pictures after the break. Not exactly for the faint of heart. Curious eyes are welcome.

childhood

For our 31st monthsary, we had a breakfast of pancakes topped with maple syrup and canned blueberries.

Her: Mmmm. Brings back childhood memories!

Me: The blueberries? Ang sosi naman ng childhood mo.

Her: Eh sosyal kasi nanay ko eh.

~o~o~o~

What were my childhood memories?

They consisted of eating rice with sugar with my bare hands, because those were the only things my parents could afford at the time. We were living in a shack that used to be a storage room, and the roof constantly leaked whenever it rained. Being a kid, it became a game for me, of finding enough buckets and placing them at the right spots so the floor wouldn’t get wet. It was fun rather than annoying. It was a fact of life.

So that’s what it’s like to get cut open

Had breast surgery yesterday afternoon. Conversation while putting on a surgical gown and a hair cap.

Nurse: Ano yung ipapa-opera mo?

Me: Um, dito. (points to right breast) May lump kasi.

Nurse: Ha?! Ilang taon ka na ba?

Me: 28.

Nurse: Talaga? Akala ko high school ka lang. (laughs)

Me: Oo. Actually, pinabili lang ako ng suka dyan sa kanto eh. (laughs)

Nurse: (smiles) Ang cute mo naman.

See, now I wonder what I’ll look like when I’m 50.

~o~o~o~

It was my first time to go under the knife, so I felt a mix of curiosity and anxiety. Ganun pala yun. It wasn’t so bad. Getting injected with anesthesia in the beginning was probably the most painful part. At one point my doctor thought I cried in pain. The truth was I chuckled after I realized it was Pacquiao’s song playing on the radio.

I couldn’t look when she made her first incisions, and fearing that I’ll move around too much because of nervousness, we covered my eyes with cloth. When my doctor finally got to the lump and had it exposed (but still attached to me), she asked me if I cared to see it. Of course, I did!

I was surprised. It was much bigger than what I anticipated. From the ultrasound results, it seemed to be flat and elongated up to 2cm. The actual mass looked more like 3cm, quite rounded, and had a long extension at the bottom.

That pink blob used to be a part of me. Huh.

I stared at the mass while my doctor carefully worked on detaching it from the surrounding tissues. It wasn’t stressful because we were talking about the latest headlines all throughout. In short, nagchichikahan lang kami. That made me feel at ease. I forgot how many stitches it took to patch me up.

I wanted to take a picture of the lump but I wasn’t able to bring my camera. Luckily, my doctor brought her brand new digicam. We gamely took photos of the odd little thing like a bunch of eager children on their first trip to the zoo. She promised to send them to me via email. I eagerly await.

Is it benign? I hope so. My doctor said it looked harmless from her experience. That’s a good sign. I’ll know for sure after 10 days when they finish analyzing the biopsy results. Whatever happens, the most important thing is early detection. Breast cancers are 95% treatable if they are still in the early stages. If you think you have a lump, consult a surgeon immediately.

excuses, excuses

- Finished planning my finances for the rest of the year. Seems like if I behave myself with regards to work (meaning not give in to katamaran), I’ll be able to go to Malaysia in November. Last chance before Carlo’s contract expires.

- My little sister and her boyfriend of 7 years broke up. They’ve been together since 3rd year high school.

- Can’t wait ’til the house in Pangasinan gets built and we won’t have to live with my brother. He ate the truffles I made for Carlo and got the frame of my “Best QA” award from Amber. What the hell?!

- Pizza Hut’s Lasagna Pizza isn’t all that great. Edible, but I don’t like the taste. Not a bad idea, just a case of too much tomato sauce and too little cheese. Parang kulang din sa herbs and spices.

- Failed to go to the surgeon again. I don’t know why I keep making up excuses not to go. Do I have a death wish or something? Friday, Scout. Friday.

having fun, dyan-dyan lang

Went to a nearby mall/arcade to hunt in a bargain bookstore. Got myself a fascinating hardcover on ancient African kingdoms full of beautiful illustrations. It’s like watching National Geographic.

Plus, food tripping on sinful chicharong bituka from a stall. Since I’m underweight, I’ll eat as much as I want. Glorious.

Analysis/Paralysis

- It took an incredible amount of self-control to stop myself from clicking on that “Send” button. I don’t know if I did the right thing.

- Bumabaliktad na naman tulog ko. I sleep around 3am now. Feeling restless at night.

- Ugh, mainit sa Pilipinas. 33 degrees Celsius according to Wolfram|Alpha. No wonder ang konti ng tao kahit sa palengke kanina. Nakakatamad gumalaw.

- Missing Fil-Am activist surfaces after 7 days. Nakasama ko sya sa Mindoro a few years ago. Glad to know she’s OK. Malamang natakot yung mga dumukot kasi American citizen sya. I fear her two other missing companions won’t be as lucky.

- RP’s Dante Mendoza: Best director at Cannes. That’s a first for the country, and in true Filipino fashion, he was still cramming to finish post-production in Paris days before the festival.

- I need to see Andy.